let it snow!

BEFORE

I can't believe Christmas day has come and gone! I love the holidays and I am truly enjoying living in a part of the world where lovely evergreens abound! This year was the first time in my life I have purchased a REAL tree - a beautiful Noble Fir. It came home the first Sunday of advent and has graced the living room ever since. It will be sad to see it go after epiphany! But even as great as it has been to be surrounded by yummy smelling greenery, I think my favorite thing about the holiday season may be the baking. I LOVE to bake - but rarely make time to really make pretty things. With school out and Christmas music playing, I get excited to make all sorts of cookies and breads and candies. The ones that really feel like Christmas to me are the gingerbread cookies. The smell of the spices baking fills the house and makes me feel like a kid! Plus, while all my relatives in Texas are getting cabin fever from all the snow, we haven't seen a single flake . . .so we just made some! Hope your holiday was filled with things you love!

AFTER

the color of Christmas

One of my favorite classes in college was called, "The Faces of Jesus". In it we looked at a variety of stories, art, the gospels, and people around us and discussed where in them we could see the face of Christ. While the class presented options that varied from Renaissance paintings to a rabbit in a story to a sick person in the nursing home - the one thing we agreed on is that the image of Jesus isn't a static one. It isn't like an iconic photo of a model or rock star. But you might not know that if you grew up in the USA in a white protestant church. It seems like the main visual representation we get of Jesus in most churches looks a bit like this:

the only variation being that sometimes he isn't so tan, he might have more blonde highlights and in some cases the eyes are blue. Now I know that artists, and all of us really, are bound to imagine this One person, this Emmuel, this One in whose image we are created - looking a bit like those around us. So there are images of Jesus from all cultures, with different features, hair color and cut, clothes, etc. But I wonder if those of us with the most power and privilege in this country might benefit from thinking a bit about what it is Jesus might have looked like in the flesh. He was after all a middle eastern man.

Scientists who have tried to put a "face" to this middle eastern Jewish carpenter from about 200 years ago have come up with this image:

I'm not saying this is any more accurate than the Sunday school Jesus, but it helps I think to add this one to the mix. Just as it helps to look into the faces of ALL the people of the world to get a hint about what the image of God might look like.

During this season we are bombarded with images of the baby Jesus - but as you may have noticed, many of those little babies in the mangers are white babies. Maybe it isn't a big deal. Maybe it is just that we all imagine the Christ, the one who was and is for us, as looking like us. There is a Christmas song called, "Some Children See Him" that talks about that. It says that all children see the baby Jesus as looking like themselves. It speaks to Christ's ability to touch us all, regardless of race. But I wonder if those of us who are no longer children might get that message more deeply if we saw images that did not look like us. Maybe in an age of racial profiling, in a day when all middle eastern men are presumed guilty, in a time when most of those we have locked in prison are people of color - maybe it wouldn't hurt for us to think of that little baby as a little brown baby rather than a white one.

when life gives you lemons . . .

One of the best things I have gotten to do since moving to this part of the world is a class I took through our local county extension office. Upon the completion of the course, which covers canning, drying, and freezing foods among other things one becomes a "master food preserver". The title seems a bit grand, but the skills you learn are both practical and fun! Plus they have helped me take care of Christmas presents early for the last couple of years. During the summer, when there is time on my hands I can make something that will be a welcome gift come winter. A taste of summer berries in jam, spicy apples and pears in yummy butters, and this year some homemade hooch! It takes a few months for everything to meld together, so you do have to plan ahead, but this summer I started some lemon and cherry liquours.

Another fun part of this is scouring the second hand stores for fun bottles - luckily one of our local shops carries corks in all sizes! This weekend was the long awaited bottling of the limoncello - it is yummy! And I was quite pleased with how the bottles looked with some wax over the corks, a bit of jute and a homemade label. Now I just have to bottle the cherry vodka (made from local cherries we picked ourselves!) so that gift giving can commence!

Rising up to say thank you

Later this week we will take a moment to say thank you. How that happens is different in each family's tradition - but usually, somehow, in some way, we do pause before diving into a turkey feast to recognize that we have lots of reasons to say give thanks. I have lots of things for which to be grateful, a good job that I love, a caring family, many supportive friends, a house that keeps me warm and dry, lots of yummy local food - really my life is blessed.

I took some time to think, meditate, pray recently when I had the opportunity to take an art class making a mandala. This artistic way of praying/meditating involves circles and has been used in various spiritual traditions. It is sort of like the recent study that says you can indeed learn (in fact maybe learn better) if you doodle while you listen. The idea is if you are praying while your hands and a part of your mind is busy, you may have a different/deeper expression of prayer.

The class was taught by a totally stereotypical Eugene hippie - she was very encouraging of each of us, which was appreciated by those of us for whom the idea of painting something was a bit intimidating. We focused on the season of autumn, and she had each of us draw a card with an amimal symbol on it. I drew the phoenix - on the back of the card it said that the phoenix, "reminds us that when we fully accept the fire of pain, we transmute what is no longer needed and become more whole/healed." As the teacher guided us through our artwork we were to contemplate what meaning this symbol might have for us. As a Christian the phoenix, a bird that will not die, but instead rises from the ashes, AND the season of autumn, when the whole earth seems to be aflame and heading toward the "death" and darkness of winter before the new birth of spring - all of this has obvious metaphorical overlap with the central story of our faith.

And for me personally, the idea of accepting pain as part of life in order to find wholeness resonates. Yes pain is a part of the story, death is a part of the story, but they are not the end of the story. Life wins. The flames don't kill the phoenix, the winter can't hold back the spring, the tomb is empty.

Working on this project I had the chance to contemplate what it was that needs to die within me, in my work, my life, what has taken more time than it deserves - so that something else - something worthy, something life-giving - can rise up and fly. It was such a gift, this gift of time, focus, listening. Now my mandala of the phoenix and the leaves is in my home, reminding me to take the time to think about what it is I need to mourn, what I need to welcome, and most of all to remember the many things for which I am grateful. My prayer is that all of us will take time to truly give thanks for our many blessings this holiday week.

meltdowns

I have a two-year-old niece (who by the way I believe to be just about as close to perfect as a person can be). This is one of those pictures she may resent me having someday, as it was taken when she was throwing a fit about something while the rest of us tried not to laugh at the pitiful face and big, crocodile tears of what was either a plea for what felt like a big injustice OR was actually a last ditch effort to get some attention before breakfast was over! The thing of it is, that while it is hard for me to keep a straight face when our newest little drama queen turns on the waterworks because she has to do something completely UNFAIR like, you know, NOT throw things in a restaurant (seriously, how does my sister keep from laughing out loud when she gets the puppy dog eye treatment from her?), often I really do empathize with the two-year-old.

Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair. And the most logical reaction to that realization and frustration is to curl out your bottom lip, stamp your feet and have a good cry. Yes, I know we are supposed to be all grown up and MATURE when faced with the day to day things that add up to a less than ideal world. But don't you sometimes just wanna forget about being logical or sensible; don't you just wanna get mad for a little bit; don't you just wanna throw a tantrum and melt down? Sometimes I sure do. And the thing of it is, though we are told that crying won't change anything, it does. After I let myself have a good cry I'm usually tired, but it also cleans me out in some good ways. Those tears help get rid of a little bit of the annoyance, the frustration, the feeling that its all just SO unfair. And I can see things more clearly. Sorta like the way the world looks all sparkly after a rain shower.

So here's to meltdowns, and temper tantrums, and having a good cry. And here's to fresh starts!

Falling . . .

Autumn feels more like the new year to me than January. The start of the school year, most churches are gearing up their outreach and educational programs, there is change all around. Seems like the crisp air and turning leaves give us all the permission to try something different - to let our own true colors shine through. As our thoughts turn toward getting serious about classes, or projects, toward preparing for holidays with those we love, towards curling up with a bowl of soup or a cup of tea, towards a season that feels like it is time to re-evaluate, look inward and move forward - the leaves give me hope that whatever it is this season brings it will be awash in color. I couldn't resist taking these pictures around campus this week. Happy Fall y'all!

already, not yet

The beginning of this school year feels a bit like this sign -I'm not always sure which way things are heading. Make no mistake, I love what I do - I get to walk alongside young adults who are trying to figure out a lot of stuff. Things like what they want to study, who they want to date, what they believe about God. It is an honor and privilege to be allowed to participate in those conversations, to listen as some big questions are asked. But there are some tricky parts about ministry at a university. For one thing, people are ALWAYS coming and going. There is the normal, expected graduation of many - usually those who have become over time the group's leaders. There are the students who drop out of the campus ministry group for awhile because their class schedule is particularly grueling or they have to take on another job. There are those who decide they fit in better with a different group of folks. There are those who transfer to a different school. There are those who decide college is not for them. On the flip side, there are lots of folks who don't start looking for a ministry group till they have been in school for a year or two or four. It makes for an interesting dynamic. I recently learned that you need 17 hours of time with a group for them to develop "group-ness". They don't have to be continuous, but it does have to be the exact same people - so anytime someone leaves or someone new joins you are back at hour number one. Seventeen hours . . that is next to impossible in this context. So we already have a group, but they are not yet a group.

I feel like I am coming and going a bit these days as well. We are looking into ways we can become more sustainable for the long term - so in addition to the everyday, much of my time has been focused on a project that won't really begin to affect us until 2011 or 2012. So I'm working with today's students while spending lots of time dreaming about what this ministry could be to students who haven't even taken their SATs yet! The already and the not yet are struggling for my attention.

So how do you stay fully present to the people who are here now while looking forward? How do you foster community and group cohesiveness when you are never working with the same group twice?

Use of Space

This picture, believe it or not, is on a golf course. It is located on a small island off the coast of Scotland where the fairway is also public grazing land and a place for the community to gather. I have to admit I have never been interested in learning to play golf, but the day I was here I kinda wished I could play a round with the cows! Being there made me think a bit about how choices communities make. What do we share and what do we gate? The idea that this lovely piece of property, with views of the ocean, rocky beaches and caves that spout sea water wasn't seen as prime land to develop, but rather a common ground, a place to raise livestock, have fun together and enjoy the beauty of the place. The concept that instead of deciding between open grazing and a golf course they opted for both. It means that anyone and everyone (including the cows and sheep) are let in - there is a gate, but it isn't gated in the way many golf courses in our country are. Just a fence to keep the animals (and the visitors) from wandering into dangerous territory, and a gate with a small sign requesting that you close it behind you. Yes the consequence of all that sharing is that you have to watch your step, but it also means the grass is always mowed and everyone gets to enjoy the view.

Serendipity

I love when good things happen that you could never have predicted. Big crazy things like falling in love, yes, but also little things that make your day or your week a little sillier, a little happier. One of the things I get to do is answer a statewide food preservation and safety hotline, along with LOTS of other volunteers. We all took a class through our state extension service and this is a way to serve others using the knowledge we gained. That class was a blast and I learned lots. But the people I continue to meet as a result of it - that is the bonus no one tells you about! I meet all sorts of fun people who are a part of the program (that is how I got to can tuna last week). But it also opens other surprising doors. Usually time on the hotline is spent sharing recipes, techniques, etc. Sometimes it is a matter of life or death (no you shouldn't eat food that has other lifeforms growing on it - I don't care if you did put it up yourself!) This week I answered a call from someone who wanted ideas about how to preserve and/or cook with figs. Seems she bought her daughter-in-law a fig tree some years back and it has a bumper crop this year. So they have presented her with several pounds of these little gems. We talked about drying them, making jam, etc. and I also said (being the cheeky gal I am), "Well, I'd be happy to eat some of them for you!"

Honestly, I was just kidding. But before I knew it she was getting my name and calling her daughter-in-law and when my shift on the hotline was done, I had an appointment to pick some figs. Now, you need to know I love figs. My grandmother had a big old fig tree and we used to have access to figs or fig jam year round. It wasn't until I was an adult and went looking for them in the store that I realized what an expensive little habit they can be! They are usually more than $1 apiece! Ouch! So I sometimes treat myself to one little box of them each year. I savor them and wish for a fig tree.

Well not this year! I hauled myself to the arranged meeting place, introduced myself to the lady of the house and she encouraged me to take as many as I could carry home in the boxes I had in the car.

I picked more than 20 pounds in about 15 minutes. There were SOOOOOO many of them that I hardly made a dent in the crop!

I had figs to snack on aplenty, and enough to do some fun things, too! I did share some with friends, but I also made some jam . . .

So now I have a dozen amber jars of yumminess to enjoy.

I am drying some even as we speak s

o that I can put

them in my oatmeal, or a port wine sauce for pork this winter . . . .

And at the recommendation of a friend I took some figs, stuffed them with blue cheese (Oregonzola from the Rogue creamery), wrapped them in pancetta, put a few drops of olive oil on top of the whole thing and roasted them. WOW! They were amazing. I served them with a salad of fresh greens and grated beets from my CSA along with a fig balsamic vinaigrette and some toasted pine nuts. What a feast!

When I left to answer the phone that afternoon, I never guessed I'd be remembering picking figs at my grandmothers, or enjoying a meal fit for a queen that night! Plus I met a really nice lady and her daughter in law - days like that just make me smile!

Fishin"

There was a time in my life when I really thought I didn't like fish. Mostly because the only fish usually available to a kid growing up in Texas was fried catfish - which, to my family's dismay, I still don't enjoy. But then I discovered all sorts of other kinds of fish - salmon, swordfish, tuna - and other ways to eat it - sushi, grilled, fish tacos! A whole world of seafood opened up to me. And just when I thought I couldn't appreciate it anymore I moved to the Pacific Northwest where fresh seafood abounds and where people do all sorts of cool stuff. Who knew you could smoke or can your own fish?!? Home-canned tuna is amazing. It is quite a process, but a friend of mine from the master food preserver class I took through our home extension office kindly hosts tuna canning days at her home each summer. This was the first year I could make it - and what a day! I am so excited to have all those little jars of yummy fish in my pantry to enjoy all winter long! Plus, we got to spend a day learning not only about canning fish, but about one another. I will remember those folks each time I open one of these precious little cans and enjoy locally caught, low mercury, super-yummy tuna!

happily ever after . . .

One of the things I get to do as a minister is walk with couples as they make the journey to a wedding. It is a privilege to be able to hear their stories about how they met and fell in love, their hopes, fears and dreams. I got to preside at a wedding last week and it was a joy. The young couple worked hard to make sure the day was truly about celebrating their relationship and their families and friends, not just a big show. It was held at a botanical garden and we were surrounded by flowers and trees. A friend of the bride serenaded us with lovely medieval music and we feasted on fresh local blueberries and cherries - yum! Shoes were optional for those in attendance, as they stepped upon holy ground and made promises together about love. What a gift in a time when we hear so much about sorrow, when weddings are often portrayed as another opportunity to spend money and impress others to be a part of a celebration that was about taking seriously the intentions of those involved; a day that honored the love of these two people and was honest about asking for the love and support of others as they begin their life together; a day that included both serious vows and crying friends as well as laughter and high-fives all around! I am so grateful to have been there to witness the beginning, and I hope their new life together is joy-filled!

Food for Thought . . .

I went to see the movie "Food, Inc." last week. I encourage you to see it if you have the chance,. In my opinion it is well done and shines a light on many of the problems in our modern food "industry". Unfortunately, I wasn't shocked by the content of the film. I have read several books about our how our food is grown, raised, processed, etc. these days - so the movie just added pictures and personal testimony to what I already know. While I don't think I can go totally vegetarian (like the folks pictured above, who I saw at a "veggie pride" march this spring in NYC) I do try to make choices that are healthy for me and the planet when it comes to meat. Really, I try to do that with all my food, but having access to veggies from a farmer's market, CSA, or your own backyard is easier in most parts of the country than acquiring what I think of as "happy meat."

I was spoiled as a child. I grew up eating beef from my grandfather's ranch. He fed the cows grass and hay . . .because that is what cows are designed to eat and it makes good sense. I always thought other meat tasted funny to me just because I was used to my grandpa's. It wasn't until I was older that I realized most beef in America is fed with corn that we have in abundance to due government subsidies. Even though cattle aren't supposed to eat grains. I am grateful to live in a place where I can get my hands on locally raised beef, pork, poultry and wild fish. It sometimes costs a little bit more, but I know where my food is coming from and what is (or more importantly is not) fed to the animals. The work of local farmers and ranchers is such a gift. A gift for which I am deeply grateful. I don't eat meat that often, but when I do I know I have a choice. Not everyone does.

nesting . . .

I love my home. I love living in an old house, and a place where I can walk to the store, the movies, a park and some fun local restaurants. I love being able to share a big front porch with our neighbors as they pick up fresh produce from our CSA. I love that the house has great big windows that let in lots of sunshine.

So much to love about this place. I know I am so blessed to even have a place to hang my hat, and the fact that it is also a place I love and love sharing with others makes it even more of a blessing. I moved into this house in May of 2007 - I cannot believe it has been 2 years! There are still lots of projects on the list, things that will make it even more wonderful - but I like that about the house. I like nesting. Taking time to figure out what color would look best in the sitting room, or figuring out the best way to take off several layers of paint from the woodwork, or finally getting around to replacing the curtains the last folks left behind (I swear I'll get them sewn someday!!). But in the meantime, I get to enjoy living in a great house. Maybe it isn't perfect, but it is sound and happy and filled with pictures of people I love. And, to tell the truth, I like that it isn't perfect. I like that the paint on the stairs is a little bit worn, that the bookshelves have scratches, that the crazy peacock is still glued to the dining room light fixture (the last owner had a very different sense of style . . .). I like that it is comfortable. That you don't have to be too careful - you can just live here and enjoy it.

Sure, there are lots of things to do to make the house more perfect. And I have lots to do to make myself more perfect too - need to work on losing weight, organizing my time more efficiently, etc. And I'll keep working on me while I keep working on the house - one day at a time. But in the meantime, I think I'll go enjoy a cup of tea on the back deck and keep an eye out for the bluebirds.

Life is . . .

As is obvious from the title of the blog, one area of life I think of often is food. Living in the Northwest I am continually amazed by the variety of wonderful locally grown produce that is readily available. This year alone I have picked 25 quarts of strawberries, 15 quarts of raspberries, and about 20 pounds of cherries so far! Most of them are frozen, or in jam so I can enjoy them year round. And many of the cherries are dried - they are sooooo sweet! Of course I've also eaten LOTS of them all fresh as well - and blueberries are here now, too. I am well aware of the fact that not everyone has access to such amazing food. This time last year I was in Nicaragua, where we were hosted by very kind people who ate basically the same meal three times a day: rice, beans and tortillas. There might be a little something else now and again, but that was the meal that kept them alive. I have thought of them often as I picked fruit this June and am more grateful than ever to be in a place - geographically and otherwise - that is filled with such abundance. I am certainly thankful that this summer my life includes a bowl of cherries!

first steps

So, I've been thinking about starting a blog for awhile now and just haven't taken the time to do it. As with many things in life I sometimes put off starting a project if I don't think I have the time to do it "right". I'm working on that. So this is the first step. I don't yet know how it all works, how to make it cute, exactly how to load pictures and links and all the things I enjoy on other people's blogs. But I can begin. I can take the first steps trusting that I'll be able to figure it out as I go along. Knowing that doing something is better than doing nothing. At the very least, it is a beginning . . . and I like beginnings as they are usually filled with hope.