feeling small

There are times when I feel particularly small - which is funny, because I have always been a big woman, even at my skinniest. But when I stand looking up at tall trees, or out at the ocean, or into a clear night sky, or at a mountain range - I feel small. When I hear about how many people are hungry, homeless and cold in our county, I feel small. When look at children existing on what food they can collect from the city dump in Nicaragua, I feel small. When the news is filled with a tragedy like the one in Haiti, I feel small.

Small because I wonder what can one person do, really, to make a difference when there is so much pain in the world. But then, then just when I think I might be small, I hear voices raised in hatred and blame - like Job's friends, let's blame the victims. Let's vilify the immigrants, the homeless, those who have just watched their island home crumble, who even now are digging family and friends out of the rubble. That is when I know who is really small - those who have little love in their hearts.

Then I am reminded that we are all children of God - we are empowered to be the light in this world. We can't change it all by ourselves, but we can do our part. And if all of us speak up, act up, give, help - then it CAN make a difference. I am reminded of Mother Teresa telling folks that if there are those who are poor or hungry in this world it is because those of us who have more than we need haven't shared with others.

This weekend we mourn the tragic loss of life and hope in Haiti, and we think about the life work of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. Maybe we don't remember the names of all the people who worked in the Civil Rights movement, but the fact of the matter is, no matter how gifted, driven, and passionate King was, the country changed because LOTS of "little" people were willing to join the movement. They gave money, time, energy, respect of the status quo, and some, like Martin, gave their lives. Some things are worth giving it all.

I'm not sure how all this fits together, but I think it does. It is something about living for reasons bigger than us, reasons like love and justice. It is something about hearing the call to love our neighbors, to be the salt and light in this world. It is something about remembering even in the face of darkness and fear that love and light are greater. It is something about doing little things for big reasons, even when we feel small.