best friends

On this Valentine's day when there are hearts and flowers and chocolates all around I am grateful for friends. I have lots of friends in my life. It's a blessing really - the number of people who I care about and who care about me. And it isn't just the kind of "friend" that counts because you read their facebook status updates (altho that has been a delightful way to reconnect with folks I must admit). No these are not the kind of people one might "un-friend". These are the folks who I know I can call at 3a.m. if I need to talk. We can talk about what we hope for, what we are disappointed about, the things that we would just burst if we couldn't share them with someone, and the things we wish weren't happening at all. We talk with one another when we can, send round-robin emails to catch up with one another, and just keep talking and laughing and crying and sharing and caring in one big ol' conversation that has now lasted for well over twenty years.

I remember when I was a kid worrying that I didn't have a "best friend". It seemed to me like all the folks in the books I read, on the tv shows I saw, in all the good movies, had a bff. Someone with whom they shared EVERYTHING. That wasn't my reality. I had friends, people to hang out with and play with - there were lots of Barbie dolls and pretend shows. There were sleepovers and birthday parties and fun memories. But it wasn't until I was older that I started finding forever friends.

Some of them were people I had known for a long time, but it wasn't until we were all older that we truly got to know one another. Some of them were people I met in college. People who seemed to speak the same language. Even though we were from different places, different family situations, studying different subjects - we could talk and laugh and cry together. This tribe is one where I have always felt free to be exactly who I am - and I love all of them for exactly who they are, too.

There are lots of songs and poems and cheezy cards being circulated today celebrating romantic love. To be clear, I'm a fan of that, too. But I think we sometimes undervalue the gift of real friends. So on this Valentine's day, I'm thankful for the genuine love of good friends because, near of far, I cannot imagine life without them!

staying power

These words are carved on a small wooden doorway at the top of a small stairway leading to a little, cell-like room in a tower - it is a lookout at the front of an old church at the abbey on the Isle of Iona. It was in this little room that the monks took turns watching and waiting. It wasn't like a castle lookout tower with a warning bell or a place for weapons to protect the place. It was situated so that the person who was "on-duty" could let others know when someone was coming to the abbey. The purpose of the watch was to welcome the stranger.

What must it have been like to wait and watch, to pray and try to stay awake as you looked for someone, anyone, who might be coming your way? I admire the resolve to welcome the strangers, and find it speaks volumes that this was part of their daily worship - just as much as leading the psalm-singing or planting the garden or carefully illuminating a sacred text.

Waiting is not my strong suit. Like most 21st Century Americans I have been conditioned to expect instant results. Hungry? Well there are any number of "fast" food places, and even if you cook you can be eating in 30 minutes. In Love? There are drive-thru wedding chapels only a flight away in Vegas. Wanna be entertained? You can instantly stream a variety of films, tv shows, etc. Curious about anything? Google it. Want something you can't afford right now? Charge it.

We all know, at some level, that waiting can be a good thing - but that doesn't mean we like it. 2009 was, for me, a year of waiting. We have been looking for ways to do more ministry, to reach out to more students, and (most pressing) ways to afford to keep this outreach alive. We have good ideas, and lots of dreams. But, for a variety of reasons, the timing hasn't quite worked out. So . . . . we keep praying, we keep planning, we keep dreaming - and because we are Presbyterian we keep MEETING! Lots of meetings! All of that adds up to LOTS of waiting.

Waiting to begin what we feel called to do in order to give new life to this ministry. Waiting for the right plan, the right team, the right vision. Waiting to welcome more students. I feel like I've been in that watch tower for MONTHS - and I can see, in the distance, a whole group of students heading our way. But the sea keeps changing and their boat can't quite reach our shores yet.

Frustrating? YES! But not without hope. We continue to listen, to hope, to pray, to work, AND to wait. And deep down I believe that all of this will happen in God's time. And when it does, we (like the monks) will be waiting to welcome in the new faces, tired from their voyage, looking for respite. I just need to figure out what those monks did to keep from going crazy in the meantime!!!

Wait on the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; Wait for the Lord! ~ Psalm 27:14

feeling small

There are times when I feel particularly small - which is funny, because I have always been a big woman, even at my skinniest. But when I stand looking up at tall trees, or out at the ocean, or into a clear night sky, or at a mountain range - I feel small. When I hear about how many people are hungry, homeless and cold in our county, I feel small. When look at children existing on what food they can collect from the city dump in Nicaragua, I feel small. When the news is filled with a tragedy like the one in Haiti, I feel small.

Small because I wonder what can one person do, really, to make a difference when there is so much pain in the world. But then, then just when I think I might be small, I hear voices raised in hatred and blame - like Job's friends, let's blame the victims. Let's vilify the immigrants, the homeless, those who have just watched their island home crumble, who even now are digging family and friends out of the rubble. That is when I know who is really small - those who have little love in their hearts.

Then I am reminded that we are all children of God - we are empowered to be the light in this world. We can't change it all by ourselves, but we can do our part. And if all of us speak up, act up, give, help - then it CAN make a difference. I am reminded of Mother Teresa telling folks that if there are those who are poor or hungry in this world it is because those of us who have more than we need haven't shared with others.

This weekend we mourn the tragic loss of life and hope in Haiti, and we think about the life work of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. Maybe we don't remember the names of all the people who worked in the Civil Rights movement, but the fact of the matter is, no matter how gifted, driven, and passionate King was, the country changed because LOTS of "little" people were willing to join the movement. They gave money, time, energy, respect of the status quo, and some, like Martin, gave their lives. Some things are worth giving it all.

I'm not sure how all this fits together, but I think it does. It is something about living for reasons bigger than us, reasons like love and justice. It is something about hearing the call to love our neighbors, to be the salt and light in this world. It is something about remembering even in the face of darkness and fear that love and light are greater. It is something about doing little things for big reasons, even when we feel small.

a crabby new year

I had the distinct pleasure of welcoming 2010 with some dear friends. We spent the weekend at the coast and made the most of one of the best years ever for dungeness crab! They were ENORMOUS and amazing - you didn't even need to dip them in butter, mmmmmmmmmm!!!!

What we couldn't eat went into an amazing seafood gumbo the next day - it pays to have friends who know how to cook! We got to watch a storm roll in from the comfort of the cabin (in front of the fire!), watched movies, played games and then went for some walks along the coast when the weather let up. All in all not a bad way to start the year, in fact I think it would bode well if the year follows that pattern. Out enjoying the beauty of nature when you get the chance, great meals from the bounty of local food, friends who will ride out the storms with you. Can't ask for much more, can you? Happy 2010 y'all!

let it snow!

BEFORE

I can't believe Christmas day has come and gone! I love the holidays and I am truly enjoying living in a part of the world where lovely evergreens abound! This year was the first time in my life I have purchased a REAL tree - a beautiful Noble Fir. It came home the first Sunday of advent and has graced the living room ever since. It will be sad to see it go after epiphany! But even as great as it has been to be surrounded by yummy smelling greenery, I think my favorite thing about the holiday season may be the baking. I LOVE to bake - but rarely make time to really make pretty things. With school out and Christmas music playing, I get excited to make all sorts of cookies and breads and candies. The ones that really feel like Christmas to me are the gingerbread cookies. The smell of the spices baking fills the house and makes me feel like a kid! Plus, while all my relatives in Texas are getting cabin fever from all the snow, we haven't seen a single flake . . .so we just made some! Hope your holiday was filled with things you love!

AFTER

the color of Christmas

One of my favorite classes in college was called, "The Faces of Jesus". In it we looked at a variety of stories, art, the gospels, and people around us and discussed where in them we could see the face of Christ. While the class presented options that varied from Renaissance paintings to a rabbit in a story to a sick person in the nursing home - the one thing we agreed on is that the image of Jesus isn't a static one. It isn't like an iconic photo of a model or rock star. But you might not know that if you grew up in the USA in a white protestant church. It seems like the main visual representation we get of Jesus in most churches looks a bit like this:

the only variation being that sometimes he isn't so tan, he might have more blonde highlights and in some cases the eyes are blue. Now I know that artists, and all of us really, are bound to imagine this One person, this Emmuel, this One in whose image we are created - looking a bit like those around us. So there are images of Jesus from all cultures, with different features, hair color and cut, clothes, etc. But I wonder if those of us with the most power and privilege in this country might benefit from thinking a bit about what it is Jesus might have looked like in the flesh. He was after all a middle eastern man.

Scientists who have tried to put a "face" to this middle eastern Jewish carpenter from about 200 years ago have come up with this image:

I'm not saying this is any more accurate than the Sunday school Jesus, but it helps I think to add this one to the mix. Just as it helps to look into the faces of ALL the people of the world to get a hint about what the image of God might look like.

During this season we are bombarded with images of the baby Jesus - but as you may have noticed, many of those little babies in the mangers are white babies. Maybe it isn't a big deal. Maybe it is just that we all imagine the Christ, the one who was and is for us, as looking like us. There is a Christmas song called, "Some Children See Him" that talks about that. It says that all children see the baby Jesus as looking like themselves. It speaks to Christ's ability to touch us all, regardless of race. But I wonder if those of us who are no longer children might get that message more deeply if we saw images that did not look like us. Maybe in an age of racial profiling, in a day when all middle eastern men are presumed guilty, in a time when most of those we have locked in prison are people of color - maybe it wouldn't hurt for us to think of that little baby as a little brown baby rather than a white one.

when life gives you lemons . . .

One of the best things I have gotten to do since moving to this part of the world is a class I took through our local county extension office. Upon the completion of the course, which covers canning, drying, and freezing foods among other things one becomes a "master food preserver". The title seems a bit grand, but the skills you learn are both practical and fun! Plus they have helped me take care of Christmas presents early for the last couple of years. During the summer, when there is time on my hands I can make something that will be a welcome gift come winter. A taste of summer berries in jam, spicy apples and pears in yummy butters, and this year some homemade hooch! It takes a few months for everything to meld together, so you do have to plan ahead, but this summer I started some lemon and cherry liquours.

Another fun part of this is scouring the second hand stores for fun bottles - luckily one of our local shops carries corks in all sizes! This weekend was the long awaited bottling of the limoncello - it is yummy! And I was quite pleased with how the bottles looked with some wax over the corks, a bit of jute and a homemade label. Now I just have to bottle the cherry vodka (made from local cherries we picked ourselves!) so that gift giving can commence!